A LESSON ON NEW PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT
I would love to move on by starting work on the other 3 Ps – P2 for Positioning, P3 for Pricing and P4 for Promotional but alas I have a friendly reader who insisted that I must write about the conceptual aspects of this product. This means I have to stuck myself for awhile at P1, the Product….Before we start this off, it is best we refresh ourselves with the first write-up: “Sex Insurance… Don’t leave your spouse alone without one!”
Perhaps I start off with this supposedly FAQ:
|Reports (Situational FAQ)||SITUATIONAL & COVERAGE|
|A mismatch marriage (Sin Chew Daily 3 Oct quoted a newspaper report from Taiwan)||A Taiwanese woman reportedly asked for divorce from her husband simply because his penis is just too long! She just could not bear the pain whenever she has sex with him. The case went to court and the judge ruled that the length of a man’s intimate part is “very subjective” and therefore rejected her petition and ordered her returned to her husband. The other point that the judge could not accept was she married her husband in 1995 but only applied for a divorce some 10 years later.With Sex Insurance, the wife would be able to secure enough legal fees to pursue her objective of a divorce and likewise her husband would be compensated for losing her! Ain’t that’s perfectur?|
|Consumption of sexual stimulants (China Press 3 Oct) should consult a doctor first…||Those suffering from heart ailments should be wary of consuming sexual stimulants. This was not the case for a 52-year old Malaysian man who was found dead in a hotel room in a border town of Sadao with his Thai girlfriend….. (for a moment I thought he was George!), suspected caused by over-dosage of sex pills.But how can this Sex Insurance helps you since you are already dead? Wait! Your Sex Insurance should pay the death PA claim and including your funeral and repatriation expenses. So proceeds from the insurance is important eventhough you are already dead…. Your wife and kids will most likely not curse you as there are death PA proceeds to look after them despite the fact they wanted to see you dead, dead, yes die as the “Chicken Worm”!|
|What? Marge Simpson is selling her body for PLAYBOY. Homer is gonna kill himself for such embarrassment! Marge who looks like she’s into her 50s would be a thorough embarrassment to Homer with this bares all!||
With Homer having Sex Insurance, he no longer have to commit suicide, he just need to seek a divorce (if all else failed) and compensation for the embarrassment that Marge brought to him. Sex Insurance provides you with the latest know-how to deal with such matters….. You are not alone!
|A Singapore newspaper reported that a taxi driver married more than one wife and was slapped with a bigamy charge…||Both Singapore and Malaysia forbid the practising of polygamy unless you are a Muslim. When you are slapped with such bigamy charge, it is going to be difficult to defend as those facts are always very true. But if you have a case where evidence can be adduced to rebut the charges, then your Sex Insurance can be of help at least from the legal advisory aspects as well as the legal expenses in dealing with the defence.But remember, we do not pay for any of the fines, penalties or other similar charges.|
|Caught in the middle of some illicit sex adventure||Like this couple caught unaware by the press photographer? What do you do if this is inserted into next morning newspaper? You and your girlfriend will have embarrassment; this we cannot help but you may have to deal with the following issue then:(1) Your wife is unforgiving – divorce is imminent and you want to save the marriage
(2) Your girlfriend’s husband or boyfriend is threatening to sue and worst still he is getting someone to bash you up!
(3) The “khalwat” officers are charging you (if a Muslim) at Syariah courts
Friend! All these need money work out, whether legal, marriage counselling or even getting a bodyguard! Our Sex Insurance cannot ensure everything is dealt with but most of those expenses can be resolved….. to lighten your unwelcome burden. At least if you are bashed with your face restructured, your Sex Insurance would pay for your medical expenses (Your PA policy is unlikely to pay if the insurer finds out) and money that enable you to sue the other party, if so required.
The P1 of Product….. the fact is that this product actually hinges on four major lines of protection:
- The divorce part of the marriage – The panel of legal advisers to assist you with the divorce proceedings and all divorce tussles must be a direct result of “sex” related matters
- The legal expenses incurred as a direct result of any of the misadventures committed
- The availability of our panel of marriage counsellors – where policyholders and their spouse are given free counselling (subject to a limit)
- Personal Accident and Health & Surgical coverage where the expenses related costs claimed or death & permanent disablement are repudiated by the available specified policies
The gist of the P1 – Product “concept” is now quite clear except the policy contract must be properly drafted to ensure no ambiguity. This policy drafting part is really about the “design” aesthetic aspects. It is a norm to work along the following when drafting a policy contract:
- Operative Clause – Must be sex related
- Conditions – All pre-existing conditions are excluded unless otherwise provided for in the operative clause – A waiting period of 6 months (from the first policy inception date of the risk) for a claim to be effected is an important condition.
We shall choose not to deal with the detailed designing aspects here as this write-up strives to deal with the product development aspect only.
In respect of reinsurance cover – there is no real requirement for this unless the insurer is not confident with the statistics that they are in possession of. This is simply because the coverage amount is limited and there are no possibilities of any catastrophe type of losses since any infectious diseases are excluded. What insurers are more worry of is the loss ratio ultimately turning bad. But this should not be a real poser as there are amble statistical profiles available which show minimal relationship between divorce and sex related adventures, although failure in sexual performance between spouses are on the rise – but who cares, this can be easily solved with VIAGRA!
BUY VIAGRA ANYONE?